SGM March 2011 - Money

Our Small Group Ministry topic for this month encourages you to explore your relationship with money and develop self understanding.

No matter what our circumstances, our minds tend to promise us falsely that happiness is tied to getting more of what we want….If that were really  true wouldn’t we all be happy beyond belief by now?

Wanting more is a universal phenomenon. We are wired to want as part of a biological imperative to survive. If you pay attention you’ll find there isn’t a whole lot you can do to stop desire- you just go on and on wanting material things or better emotional states, wishing people around you were different…or you were less stressed out, more generous, or kinder. There is no way out when we are seduced by our mind’s endless chatter for more, better, bigger, faster…

I’m by no means saying that you can’t be both wealthy and happy. But whether you have a 7-figure trust fund or a pile of unpaid bills on your kitchen table, the path to freedom requires that you focus more on your inner life than on your financial circumstances.
 ~ Brent Kessel, Author of Its Not About the Money


Brent Kessel in his book It’s Not About the Money writes that most of us, regardless of our incomes, have experienced one or more of the following in our experiences with money:

• feelings of anxiety or fear
• a sense that money is separate from the more spiritual & sacred parts of our lives
• endless unsatisfied wants
• the feeling we’ll never have enough money
• a belief our finances are beyond control
• frustration with others regarding spending habits.  

Which of these experiences resonates with you?  Give some examples.

Kessel describes the Wanting Mind and contrasts its desires with Heartfelt Goals.
  

Wanting Mind desires feel like “shoulds” imposed by family, friends, or our culture. They are comparative or competitive – as in keeping up with or exceeding others.  They are insatiable; as soon as one is satisfied another comes to mind.  They are predominantly focused on the self and may require an unrealistic level of financial resources.  Much of the advertizing we see caters to our Wanting Minds.  Kessel maintains that all of us have a Wanting Mind to some degree.

Heartfelt Goals, on the other hand, are realistic, achievable and long term.  They arise from within us- are self referenced. They may provide basic or essential needs.  They are accompanied by a sense of profound importance and create long lasting fulfillment.  They are characterized by patience and usually include benefit to others.  We all have Heartfelt Goals as well as a Wanting Mind.

• Without being judgmental, make a list of your Wanting Mind.  Then make a list of your Heartfelt Goals.  
• Look over they way you have spent money in the past year and list your categories of expenditures.  Which expenditures are supporting your Wanting Mind?  Which are supporting your heartfelt goals?  Are you satisfied with your allocation of resources?

Kessel also describes eight financial archetypes relevant to spending priorities. Each has its strengths and vulnerabilities.  A financially& emotionally healthy person will show characteristics of each:    

Guardians are alert and prudent in expenditures, but may be prone to anxiety. 

Pleasure Seekers focus on fun & enjoyment in the present, but may be prone to hedonism & impulsiveness. 

Idealists prioritize vision, creativity, compassion social justice, and spiritual growth, but may be prone to distrust & being judgmental. 

Savers work for self sufficiency & abundance by accumulating more assets, but may also hoard or pinch pennies.

Caretakers give and lend money to others showing empathy & generosity, but may enable dependence in others or neglect self care.

Innocents avoid attention to money with a belief that life will work out for the best. They are at greatest risk for being in debt. They show hope & adaptability, but may also be uninformed and show helplessness & avoidance.

Stars spend and invest in order to be recognized or for self esteem. They bring leadership and style but may also show pretentiousness and self importance. 

Empire Builders thrive on power and innovation in creating something of enduring value.  They bring the gift of innovation & decisiveness but may be prone to greed & domination.

• Think of examples from your own financial goals setting & decision making that may fit into each archetype.
• Which archetypes can you identify in yourself? 
• Can you identify a dominant financial archetype in yourself?
• Are you satisfied with the balance among your archetypes?
• When you look at your financial decisions, do they fit with how you perceive yourself?
• How do you feel about investing in yourself?